Shoaib Rizvi

Going Home

Going home
Feeling home
Being home

They are not the same things
Don’t tell me that they are

Planes, trains and time zones
To return to the places of your childhood
The people of your past
The unresolved feelings of your present
The anxieties about your future

Put parts of yourself away before you get there
They are not welcome

Things your memories are made of
The smell of boiling rice, chopped coriander
and mama’s perfume
Old habits you’d worked so hard to break
Opinions you didn’t know people were still allowed to have
Naps on old sofas when someone covers you up
with a blanket that’s older than you

Don’t get too comfortable here
You’re not this person anymore

More planes, trains and time zones
Back to your space
Back to your silence
Back to your schedule

Dust off those pieces and put them back on

But why don’t they fit anymore?

Shoaib Rizvi is a pracitising doctor living and working in east London. In his spare time he writes poetry, prose and creates visual art relating to themes of gender, sexuality and migration.