Tell the referee to go to Specsavers
because you are original. Shout at
men you have never met. You could
talk the hind legs off a cliché.
Drink up. Tell jokes without punchlines.
Throw your arms in the air. The
gaffer has it wrong. Let the
linesman know your thoughts.
Back in the day, you could
do it blindfolded with one
hand tied behind your back.
Blasted knee injury. What might have been.